What do you do if you break your arm in two places?

Don't go back to those two places.

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Arm Jokes More Arm Jokes

What do you call a man with no arms, no legs, and is on fire?

Bernie.

What do you call a man with three arms and a pegleg?

I have no idea because the actual joke is always in the comments.

Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What did the broken bridge say?

I have truss issues.

Why would someone in jail want to catch the measles?

So he could break out.

Place Jokes More Place Jokes

What's your emer- She said don't get her anything for Valentine's Day! 911: And you didn't?

No! 911: Placing you in protective custody.

What does Michael Bolton say when he walks into an elevator?

This place rocks!"