What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

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Helium Jokes More Helium Jokes

What happened when Helium told a joke?

There was no reaction

What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium?

HeHe

Curium Jokes More Curium Jokes

Why do scientists call helium , curium and barium the medical elements?

Because, if you can't helium or curium , you'd barium!

What do you with a dying chemist?

Well, if you can't helium and you can't curium, all you can do is barium!