What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did the pirate say when his wife kept asking him about the steering wheel in his pants?

Yargg! Woman! Stop asking me! You're driving me nuts!"

Why do they call boats "she"?

Because the wives had to get on board somehow.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

Why do you have a black eye?

You'll have two if you leave your girlfriend's underwear in my car one more time!

What do you say to a girl with a black eye?

Nothing. You already told her.