What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

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Why did the French police arrested the Muslim teenager?

Because he was trying to detonate a Samsung Note 7.

Why does the monster act wild and crazy on his birthday?

He's trying to age disgracefully!

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How are you?

Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*

What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ?

20 minutes, thermostat 8.

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What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water?

It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."