What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

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What happened to Jesus when he tried to play defense on a professional Basketball player?

He got crossed.

Why no pants on?

We think he tried to jump into his pants & fell

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What's the difference between a golf ball and a G spot?

A man will spend 20 minutes looking for a golf ball.

How are you?

Co-worker: *Gives 20 minute dissertation on their gastro infection*

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What does a fresh egg say when you try to hardboil it?

It'll take me about 20 minutes to get hard, I just got laid by some chick.

What did the fresh egg say to the boiling pot of water?

It's going to take me a while to get hard, I just got laid this morning."