What does a skeptic chemist say when he hears a baseless argument?

No lye?

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What's 12 inches long, stiff, full of sperm and can make a girl scream?

The sock under my bed. (I don't remember where I heard it. Can't claim ownership.)

Why didn't you answer me ?

Pupil: I did I shook my head Teacher: You don't expect me to hear it rattling from here do you !