What does a strong shoulder do when it doesn't know how to get any stronger?

Shrugs.

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What's the difference between a piano, glue, and a tuna?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna (What about the glue ) I knew you'd get stuck on that

How do you know if your friend, "Doesn't even OWN a TV?

Because it's this answer to every question you ask them. "Did you hear about the President's new policy on... " "I don't even OWN a TV!"

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Why do you love me?

Wife: *shrugs* Me: Why do you find me annoying Wife: *reveals six spreadsheets and a pie chart*

How do you stretch your back?

I don't know." **shrugs*