What is trees' preferred drug?

Water. It helps them get high.

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What did the beaver say when he fell in water?

Dam it.

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What do you call a cowboy who helps out in a school ?

The deputy head !

Why did the 2 contractors hire a pilot to help survey their land?

Because they really wanted a third's eye view!