What is white and gold and black and blue?

A blonde in a physically abusive relationship. See you guys in hell.

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What do you call a nice guy with hemorrhoids?

A stand up guy

What do you call two guys above a window?

Kurt and Rod

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How do you make holy water?

Boil the hell out of it.

How the hell can ya be so stupid?

Jessie: Well it ain't somethin' yew can pick up overnight.