What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

What kind of tableware do gym trainers use?

Pilates

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What is 18 inches long, pink, squishy, and makes women cry?

SIDS

What's 18 inches and makes women SCREAM?

A stillborn.

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio?

Leonardo DiCabrio