Why don't Jedi mathematicians use the absolute value function?

Because only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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Why don't the jedi drink vodka?

Because only the Sith deal in absolut

How do Jedi plan for retirement?

With a Hoth IRA. I'll see myself out.

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Why do you fight using only your feet?

Oh, y'know. For kicks.

What's wrong with that?

You've seen spiders before. Boy: Yes but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!

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What's it like being frozen to absolute zero?

It's 0K.

Why don't Jedi Knights use the Kelvin scale?

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.

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Why are Jedis allowed to use negative numbers?

Because only Siths deal in absolutes.

When did Anakin's Jedi Master know he was turning to the dark side?

In the Sith grade.

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What did Obi-Wan Kenobi say to the guy at the liquor store?

Only a Sith deals in Absolut.

What's a Jedi's favorite brand of vodka?

Skyy. Only Sith deal in Absolut.