Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why do people leave letters at the football ground ?

They want to catch the last goal-post !

Why did the Yield Sign want to divorce the Stop Sign?

He caught her in a 4-way

Hypochondriac Jokes More Hypochondriac Jokes

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Lighter Jokes More Lighter Jokes

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.