Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why doesn't Ganon use the Internet?

There were too many Links.

How often do you use algebra?

Equationally.

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call a pirate who intentionally sets a fire at sea?

An arrrrrsonist. Thank you. I'll be here all week.

What's brightly coloured and looks good on raver kids?

Fire.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What is the most popular game played by tornadoes?

Catch my drift

Why didn't you stop at that red light?

Motorist: Then you would have caught up with me.

Hypochondriac Jokes More Hypochondriac Jokes

What do you call someone with March Madness who doesn't even like basketball?

A hypochondriac

Why do health magazines targeting hypochondriacs have so much trouble maintaining subscriber levels?

Because none of their readers believe them when they receive a warning that it's their final issue.

Lighter Jokes More Lighter Jokes

Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

Why do stoners carry lighters everywhere?

Because they don't have legs to walk, man.