How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

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Why was Jesus not born in West Virginia?

Because they couldn't find three wise men or a virgin. Gf sent me this when she was driving through the state.

Why didn't Sean Connery get his roof fixed?

He said he "couldn't find a shingle person to do it."

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How did Bill Cosby find his daughter in the woods?

A: Pretty good

How do you know if you are a necrophiliac?

You get mourning wood

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What do you call a line of diamonds on fire?

Hotline Bling.

What did the man say when he couldn't get the gun to fire?

Looks like I'm gonna have to read the trouble shooting section of the manual."

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How do you catch a red elephant?

A: With a red elephant trap.

How do you catch a rabbit?

You hide in a field and make carrot noises.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

What's the worst part about meeting someone with Parkinson's?

Shaking hands.

Howdo you stop a baby from running in circles?

Nail its other hand to the floor.

Pinocchio Jokes More Pinocchio Jokes

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!