Pinocchio Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

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Why is pinocchio so good in the bedroom?

He nose what he's doing

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

How did pinocchio find out that he was made out of wood?

His hand caught fire.

Why was Pinocchio acting drunk?

He couldn't handle his lacquer

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

How did Pinocchio realize he was made of wood?

His hand caught on fire.

When did Pinocchio learn he was made of wood?

when his hand caught fire!!

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

How did Pinocchio figure out he was made of wood?

He was jacking off one day and his hand caught on fire.

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Why was Cinderella kicked out of Walt Disney World?

Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and told him to start telling lies.

Why did all the other toys throw RaggedyAnn out of the toy box?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me, lie to me!"

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Where is Pinocchio's website?

On the splinternet.

What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

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Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Why did the alcoholic quit his acting career when the audience jeered at him?

He couldn't handle his boos.

Toybox Jokes More Toybox Jokes

Why did Raggedy Anne get kicked out of the toybox?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face and screaming "Lie to me! Lie to me!!!"

Why did they kick Raggedy Anne out of the toybox?

She kept on sitting on Pinocchio's face yelling "Lie to me... lie to me!"

Real Boy Jokes More Real Boy Jokes

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys

Justin Bieber Jokes More Justin Bieber Jokes

What's the difference between Justin Bieber and Pinocchio?

Some day, Pinocchio's going to be a real boy.

What do you call Justin Bieber's singing?

Canada Dry.

Bedroom Jokes More Bedroom Jokes

What's his name?

A man walks into a bedroom and sees a hot, naked woman lying face-down on the bed. Q: What's his name? A: Willie Turner Q: What's name? A: Betty Will

What about this one for your bedroom?

ME: Hmmm no that one is also far too small

Learn Jokes More Learn Jokes

Where did Buzz feed learn to click bait so well from?

Me

What do you get when you watch Cinderella backwards?

You see a woman learn her place.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Puberty Jokes More Puberty Jokes

How did a mom figure out her daughter had hit puberty?

She kept wetting the bed.

Why didn't Pinocchio make it thru puberty?

He caught on fire.