Why did the man quit his job at the helium gas factory?

He didn't like being spoken to in that voice

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Man Jokes More Man Jokes

How long did it take for the police to catch the man running in his underwear?

It was a brief chase...

When a hot blonde walks in. The one lawyer says, "Man, wouldn't you like to screw that?

and the other lawyer replies, "Outta what "

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What does a pimp and a redneck have on common?

They both like to throw a ho-down.

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What has a mouth but never speaks, Has a bed but never sleeps, And has legs but never walks?

amp;nbsp; A mute, crippled insomniac

What paper product speaks really quickly?

Wrapping paper.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How many ISIS mercenaries does it take to change a light bulb?

None stupid crusader, that's a job for the hostages!

What do you call an oyster who can't find another job?

A clamboni driver!

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

What do you call a Pokemon who is trying to quit smoking?

Vaporeon

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Voice Jokes More Voice Jokes

Why does everyone agree when you judge someone's voice?

Because you make sound judgement.

What do you call a pig that losses its voice?

Disgruntled