Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How many times did I tell you to make your bed?

Jane: I can't answer. I didn't know I was supposed to keep count!

How do you refer to a necessary bear?

Pandatory. Stupid, I know.

Stick Jokes More Stick Jokes

How do I stop a Christmas Gnome being airsick on the sledge?

Gnome : Put a five pound note between his teeth and stick his head over the side of the sledge.

What's the difference between a Chilean mining company and a Catholic priest?

One gets their miners stuck in a shaft, and the other gets his shaft stuck in a minor.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why is it called the sistine chapel?

Because the cardinals like to be in something, that isn't eighteen yet.

How do I like eggs?

Ummm...in a cake!

Elevator Jokes More Elevator Jokes

What did one elevator say to the other?

I think I'm coming down with something.

What do ghosts do when they're sad?

They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.

Fix Jokes More Fix Jokes

What do you need to fix it?

Asparagus. (A spare, I guess)

Which actress would you like to get stuck in an elevator with?

Me: One who knows how to fix elevators.

Actress Jokes More Actress Jokes

What do you call a woman that is beautiful and smart?

An actress.

Why do they say "character actress"?

Is that to differentiate them from the all those actresses that only play walls and bits of furniture