What's been in the works for 7000 days and has barely made any progress?

Me

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you do when the dishwasher stops working?

You punch her

How can you tell the dumbest actress working on a movie?

A: She's the one sleeping with the writer.

Progress Jokes More Progress Jokes

What do you call a lamppost in Niger?

Progress.

What's the opposite of progress?

congress.