Progress Jokes

What's the opposite of progress?

congress.

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What do you call a lamppost in Niger?

Progress.

What is the opposite of progress?

colgatereally)Congress.

What's the opposite of pro?

Con. So what's the opposite of progress

What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate?

You make me hard

What is the opposite of pro?

Con. What is the opposite of progress Congress.

What's been in the works for 7000 days and has barely made any progress?

Me

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What's an SJW's favourite animal?

A Pander.

How do your trigger a SJW?

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Why is Monica Lewinsky going to vote Republican this year?

Last time she tried Democrat it left a bad taste in her mouth.

Why did the Wisconsin democrat cry?

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Whats the difference between congress and parliament?

Ones filled with a bunch of baboons and the other just doesn't give a hoot during the day.

How many US Congress members does it take to change a lightbulb?

Only one. They just hold it still and wait for the world to revolve around them.

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What did the third cookie say as he reached the pavement in safety?

Crumbs!

How did the mathematician reach the end of the Y-axis?

On a plane.

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Why did the personal trainer break up with his girlfriend?

She just wasn't working out.

How many servers does it take to change a light bulb?

I don't know, it's not my side work.

Trainer Jokes More Trainer Jokes

What can you say to your trainer that will compliment then on your progress and also be wildly inappropriate?

You make me hard

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Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"

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Whats the best time to go to the dentist?

4:30pm It let's you out of work a bit early with a valid excuse

Why do dentists recommend jpeg?

It is a flossy compression method.

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

Where Your Children Are?

Even worse, the next song is called, "Can You Give Me Directions "

How many native Americans does it take to change a light bulb?

About seven. One to change the bulb, six to sing the song.