A: A newspaper.
ME: Not good. WIFE: But I got you that Ventriloquism For Dummies book. ME: I don't think he read it.
Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."
One is made of plastic and poses a suffocation hazard to small children. The other one contains newspapers.
Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.