How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

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Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the walrus go to the tupperware store?

Because he wanted a tight seal.

How many movie directors does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone thinks that his last lightbulb was much better.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

What is my relationship?

Alex: No sorry tha- glares at wife I'll take YOU RUINED MY LIFE KAREN for $800 Alex

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

Why do people in wheelchairs wear shoes?

Do they think they're gonna magically start walking

What word starts with F and ends with UCK?

Firetruck

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?"

Pop,goes the weasel.

Fight Jokes More Fight Jokes

What do you call a man without arms or legs who gets into a fight with his cat?

Claude!

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.