How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's

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What do you want to do before you tickle someone?

Test-tickles

Want to hear a joke about construction?

Nah, I'm still working on it.

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Why did John keep on finding cracker crumbs in his bed?

His wife didn't know any decent crackers.

How do you know if someone's an expert archer?

Put an apple on your head &amp stand still he'll Tell you.

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How many women with PMS does it take to screw-in a light bulb?

Two. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . IT JUST DOES, OKAY?

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.

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How many cancer patients does it take to change a light bulb?

1 and 12 people to say how inspiring it was

How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Depends on how many cops planted it there

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What's in front of a woman and in the back of a cow?

The W. Yeah my dad just busted this joke on me.

What does Ray Charles' fictious girlfriend and this joke have in common?

They're both gold-diggers

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What can I get you today?

Harambe: May I get a martini Me: Just ice for Harambe. Harambe: Just ice Me: Justice for Harambe.

What does a television have in common with a rabbit?

His ears! Yes, this is a real joke I got from a Laffy Taffy wrapper today, not 30 years ago. I did not laugh.

Paranoid Jokes More Paranoid Jokes

What do you call a shape that's always worried?

A paranoid. (Wooo maths jokes)

How many paranoids does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Who wants to know? .... saw this joke in today's