How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do Saddam Hussein and General Custer have in common ?

A: They both want to know where the hell those Tomahawks are coming from !

What is the motto of the French navy?

To the water, it is time! Or in french... ... BWA HA HA HA. OK... I know this is kind a dad joke but.... yeah (for those don't speak French and thus don't get this, click the link and click the speaker to have it read to you ;) )

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What starts with F and ends in UCK?

Fire truck.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How are you today?

Me: Tim.

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Hair Jokes More Hair Jokes

Why did cavemen drag their women around by the hair?

Because if they dragged them by the ankles, they'd fill up with muck.

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

Help Jokes More Help Jokes

What do ya call a bunch of guys breaking into a music store and helping themselves to the stringed instruments?

A: Luters.

How many Cancerians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grief process.

Simpson Jokes More Simpson Jokes

What did the host serve his guests for The Simpsons marathon night?

Disco Stew!

What is the favorite saying of a police officer in the Simpsons?

If it's yellow let it mellow, if it's brown shoot it down.

Bart Jokes More Bart Jokes

How can I help you today, Mr Simpson?

BART: I don't know where my hair starts

What's Homer Simpsons favourite toy?

Bart.