Joke Jokes

How do police informants begin their jokes?

Nark Nark

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why the full we don't have any jokes about Islam?

Is it because it's a joke by itself or what.

Why do I not laugh at your jokes anymore?

Because I've "reddit" before

What dies a little, when explained about?

A joke.

What's joke #1?

THIS IS NOT A JOKE I'm sure you all have heard the joke where has a number for each joke and that everyone just remembers the numbers instead for typing out the jokes. This always made me think "What would joke #1 be?" What do you think it'd be?

How did Henry VIIIs wife enter the room?

Amble in (Anne Boyeyn) I made this joke up and am very proud of it :)

Why do people at work always laugh at my jokes?

Because they're paid to.

Why didnt Spock make a record of their voyage?

Because it was deep space . (the joke is how the outer space was very deep)

Why did ISIS leader bring a car-door to the desert?

So he could roll down the window when it gets too hot. How we joke in Kurdistan

What do you call a joke that gets posted over and over again on reddit?

Al-redi-reddi-tt.

What do you call a joke that is based on a misunderstanding?

Ironic

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What joke never gets old?

Besides that's what she said and yo mama.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Ba-dum-tss

What do you say when somebody else has ruined your joke?

RIP post

What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

How many babysitters does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you joking? They can't even change a dirty diaper!

What is the most essential part of any joke?

The way that the punchline of the joke is delivered.

What kind of jokes does a zombie make?

Dad jokes.

What's the worst part about breaking up with a Japanese girl?

You have to repost the joke twice before she realizes that it isn't funny anymore

How many didn't?

Ten. (Shame this one doesn't work too well for reddit - the funniest part of this joke is the third punchline enjoying people struggle to understand what the hell you're talking about.)

What do r/jokes and my dads jokes have in common?

They don't get better with age

What types of jokes grow on you?

They ones that go viral. I'll see my self out.

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

What is the type of humor do you hate the most?

Dark humor... I hate it when black people tell jokes.

Whats a mans favorite word that starts with 'm' and ends in 'arriage'?

A miscarriage! This joke never gets old, just like the baby!

When jokes go to parties, where do they wait for drinks?

In the punchlines.

Which profession has the worst sense of humour?

Well, chiropodists like jokes. But opticians like them .

How many /r/Jokes users does it take to make a Joke?

WRONG! They don't make it, they steal it...

What's the best thing about banging 28 year olds?

There's 20 of them. don't get triggered, just a joke! Paedophilia is not funny

Whats a Joke with no Punchline?

Life

Why are the twin towers and genders so similar?

Because there used to be 2 of them, but it's offensive to joke about that now.

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

What does the internet need to take when its constipated?

Google Fiber Note: Randomly came up with this joke today

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

How do you ruin a joke?

By reposting it every week!

What has an R at the beginning, a T at the end, and EPOS in the middle?

Most of the jokes in this subreddit.

Why I don't joke about politicians?

Because I don't joke about jokes.

What happened to the joke that insulted the mods?

People laughed, because it was a good joke.

What's faster than Usain Bolt ?

Jokes reposts

What do you call a joke with the wrong punchline?

To get to the other side!

What does a fencing Redditor always do with their jokes?

Ripostes them

Why can't your jokes ever make NRA members laugh?

Because jokes don't make people laugh, people make people laugh.

How many "a man walks into a bar" jokes does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but you can be sure a whole Reddit community will appear to expand the joke, make it funnier and eventually run it into the ground.

How do you know a white person is about to tell a joke?

He's looking over his shoulder

What's the difference between Donald and a piece of fruit?

Oranges have thick skin. Let the downvotes fly, people! You've only got one! Edit: Did not expect this joke to get this good of a reception. Thanks, guys!

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

What do you call a day when all jokes on this sub are re-posts?

EVERYDAY !!

Why does the Pope keep his underwear on while bathing?

Because he doesn't like looking down on the unemployed. First to ever post this joke here, yay!

What's the difference between your dad and this joke?

This joke will be back someday

Why can't a terrorist tell a joke?

They always bomb the punchline!

What does Ray Charles' fictious girlfriend and this joke have in common?

They're both gold-diggers

What's the difference between a kid and a joke?

A kid can joke but a joke cannot kid.

What's the creepiest body of water?

Lake Eerie. Note: This joke has probably been made before.

What's the worst thing you can do when posting a joke?

Accidentally hit submit before you

Why are setups to jokes so important?

because seven ate nine.

What word begins with M and ends in arriage and is a mans favourite thing?

A: Miscarriage This joke never gets old, just like the baby.

Why do SJWs hate Pong?

It's a wildly successful game that only has straight, white main characters (I stole this joke from somewhere but am not allowed to say where)

What form of humor is nonexistent in black culture?

Dad jokes

What's the definition of "de javu"?

Jokes on

Why should you be scared of a white man in prison?

Because you know he is actually guilty. Credit to for the joke!

How do we know there are so many environmentalists on reddit?

A. Because everyone keep recycling the same jokes

What do you call an octopus that loves jokes?

A knock-knocktopus.

Whats the difference between a shower thought and a joke?

I don't know you tell me.

Why didn't the melons get married in Vegas?

Because they cantaloupe. This joke was brought to you by Dads inc.

What kind of farm has lots of books but no livestock?

Barns and no-bulls. (This joke was made up by my 7 year-old cousin.)

How do you know a joke is a repost?

It's on the front page

Why am I just so naturally funny?

Because my life is a joke. Dont worry Im not scuicidal

What do you call a joke on drugs?

Highlarious

What is a better name for cows?

Lawn mooers! My 12 year old sister made this up... She out dad joked me..and I'm a dad!

Why do you need to take notes during jokes?

Joke was supposed to be this: Why do you need to take notes during church? because the peoples of noah's day, "took no note".

Why did Bernie Sanders cross the road?

He didn't, he was distributed evenly on both sides. Bernie supporters, please don't downvote me to hell, it's just a joke

What's the difference between a joke on Reddit and a joke on 9Gag?

About a day.

What did the fish say when it crashed into a wall?

Damn! (This is my go-to joke that someone told me in highschool like 7 years ago. Felt like sharing it.)

Why is it never safe to tell a joke about corn?

A corn has ears.

What planet smells the worst?

Poopiter. This joke courtesy of my 7 year old son. He was very proud of it.

How many muslims does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Sorry comments are unavailable on this joke.

What do STDs and jokes have in common?

They're both easily spread.

Where do Robots go for fun?

The Circuits! (this is a joke i made up when i was like 10, i don't think it ever caught on)

What's the difference between an infinite line and an infinitely large circle?

There is no difference. The joke is you just learned math.

What's the difference between Batman's parents and jokes about Batman's parents?

Jokes about Batman's parents can get old.

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?

Because their horns don't work 8 year old brother just told me this joke, thought it belonged here

Why can't Bernie Sanders win the election?

Because 12 year olds can't vote. Edit: I'm actually somewhat of a Bernie supporter, I'm just joking about how he has a lot of youth backing him.

What do you call a person with no skin?

Dead. Another anti-joke by the fabulous me. Surprisingly, nobody has down voted the first one yet.

What's the difference between blue paint and red paint?

The color. Yes, this is an anti-joke. Downvote please.

What falls faster from a tree, a leaf or an Emo?

The leaf, the Emo is too depressed to go outside. I saw this joke reposted so many times. I figured I'd mix it up a bit.

Why aren't there any white jokes on /r/Jokes?

Because jokes are the white man's burden."

What's the most important part about telling a joke?

Your PUN-unciation

What's the best things about Anti-Jokes?

They have a large following!

What do they say for jokes about German sausages?

They are the wurst.

Why should you not tell jokes to sand paper?

It's a rough crowd ...Ba da bum chssh

Why was the ink happy?

Because it had its in-de-pen-dance. I'm posting lots of really bad jokes tonight that just appear in my head, if just one person enjoys just one joke is worth it, good evening.

What did the terrorist say to the racist and the socialist?

We are the 2016 presidential candidate frontrunners. This is a joke take it that way

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What did Journey say to the critic as he stormed out of their concert?

Don't stop! Be leaving!" Just a joke I thought up the other day.

Which joke is better?

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles. How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles.

What kind of joke do peeping Toms like?

In-ya-window

What is your best sushi-related joke or pun?

My dad and I are going out for sushi tonight, and he has rescheduled this dinner with me several times for dumb reasons (one night was because he randomly decided to go out drinking instead). Would love to get my revenge by making sushi puns and jokes all night, but Google is failing me--I've only been able to find jokes that either make no sense, or are just not funny at all. Help!

What do people with memory loss and posters on r/jokes have in common?

They both say the same jokes over and over again.

What type of jokes do Sikhs hate?

Puns

You might also enjoy:

Find Jokes More Find Jokes