What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

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Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

Why can't you tell jokes to kleptomaniacs?

Because they always take things, literally.

What's joke #1?

THIS IS NOT A JOKE I'm sure you all have heard the joke where has a number for each joke and that everyone just remembers the numbers instead for typing out the jokes. This always made me think "What would joke #1 be?" What do you think it'd be?

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

How do you identify a vegan?

Listen closely.

What are you reading ?

Pupil : I dunno ! Teacher : But you're reading aloud ! Pupil : But I'm not listening !

Song Jokes More Song Jokes

What did Goku say when he heard his wife listening to the song, "Fancy"?

Aye, Chi-Chi, Why?

What song do they play at a Jehovah's witness funeral?

Knock, knock, knockin on Heavens door

Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

Manicure Jokes More Manicure Jokes

What's the same about nail care and black people?

They're both manicures

Why doesn't Jesus enjoy manicures or pedicures?

Because they always try to mess with his nails.