Inspire Jokes

What flavor gum does a scientist prefer?

Exspearamint. inspired by the presidential gum joke.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What song does Freddy Krueger listen to when he gets a manicure?

I got Kniiiiiives on it! that inspired the joke.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

Who inspires you?

ME: Peter Piper. INTERVIEWER: What does he do ME: It's difficult to say.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

What bird is most likely to inspire a revolution?

A pigeon... "Coup, coup"

What kind of music does an inspired Latin fish listen to?

Carp E.D.M. Credit to my friend for this one.

How does Beyonce answer the phone?

HALO HALO HALO!* - inspired from the Superbowl XLV11 Half-Time show

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

You might also enjoy:

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What did the irritated man say to his inguinal hernia?

Get off my nuts!" (ps. I made this joke up yesterday... i am having hernia surgery tomorrow, and i lol'd so hard at myself that i about caused a second one to pop out)

What music does a balloon really hate?

Pop

12 Jokes More 12 Jokes

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Why is it so cheap to buy 12 rhombuses?

Because they're a diamond dozen

Interviewer Jokes More Interviewer Jokes

What are your expectations?

Me : Job. Interviewer : I mean what do you want from this job Me : Salary

What strengths do you bring to the job?

long pause while Jesus glares at interviewer* Are you being serious right now

Http Jokes More Http Jokes

What does an unfunny person tell a salad?

Teach me senpai!

What did the drunken Irishman say to the Chinese diplomat?

http://www.reddit.com/r/Youwritethepunchline/comments/2zg1zy/whatdidthedrunkenirishmansaytothechinese/

String Jokes More String Jokes

How did the puppeteer meet the President?

He pulled some strings.

What did the string say when the rope proposed marriage?

Let's knot."

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why the population in India is exploding these days?

Because everyone over there is doing IT!

Why are indecisive miners the worst?

because all day they deal with ores.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he and his friends decided to dress up as famous composers for Halloween?

I'll be Bach

When you go to a regular movie, a friend asks you "so how good was the movie?

When you go to an M.night Shamylan movie a friend asks " So how bad was the plot twist "

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

Why do girls prefer to drive auto cars, instead of manual?

Because they want the D.

Why does Gandalf prefer coupes?

Because other cars have Mordor.