Medication Jokes

Why is the magnet on medication?

Because it's bipolar

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What did the urologist say to his patient who forgot to take his medication?

Urine trouble!

What medication that can make people inspire you?

Aspirin sorry guys

What medications do I take?

I'm not sure. The names on my neighbor's prescription bottles are ridiculously long

What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication?

You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.

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Why did 5000 Mexicans show up to fight at the Alamo?

They only had two cars.

What do you get when you take an HIV medication and raise the price 5,000%?

Rich AND famous, apparently

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How the fight started Wife : Going for a walk, do you want anything?

Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Career Jokes More Career Jokes

What do you call two doctors with the same career?

Pair of medics.

Why was the archeologist depressed?

because his career was in ruins

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

How many Buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

None, the changes necessary will come from within.

What does a Buddhist monk say when ordering a subway sandwich?

Make me one with everything*

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

How did Jesus stay in such good shape?

Cross fit.

How did Jesus feel when they crucified him?

He was cross.

Pair Jokes More Pair Jokes

Why did the belt get locked up?

A: He held up a pair of pants.

What would you call two banana skins ?

A pair of slippers.

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None they all stand around complementing it then get mad when it wont screw. Heard from my friend

What does CPA stand for?

Can't Produce Anything

L'hospital Jokes More L'hospital Jokes

Where does the sick calculus student go for medical help?

to the L'Hospital...

Where does a mathematician go when he gets hurt?

L'Hospital.