What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What did jesus say to the romans after he rose on the third day and talked about their behavior?

Yall nailed it.

Why Isn't The Media Covering This?

the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why weren't you at work last week?

Me: Why are you living in the past

Why did the man go to the doctor after taking his friend to work?

He had carpool tunnel

Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

What do Jimmy Carter and the Long Island Railroad have in common?

They both pull out of Roslyn every morning at 8:15.

Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery?

Q: Why did Joan Rivers die during throat surgery? A: Because her career as a comic was stuck, but no matter how he tried, the Dr. couldn't pull a laugh out of her.

Pop Jokes More Pop Jokes

What's a balloon's least favorite music?

Pop.

What's Blue, Orange and Lying at the Bottom of a Swimming Pool?

What's blue, orange and lying at the bottom of a swimming pool? A baby with popped floaties.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What's black and white and red all over and can't get through a revolving door?

A nun with a spear through her head.

Why couldn't the penguin turn around in the phone booth?

Because he had a javelin through his head.

Inspire Jokes More Inspire Jokes

What do you call it when a hedge fund manager loses his job to a Watson inspired AI built by IBM?

It doesn't matter. We'll all be laughing too hard to care.

What's the difference between a feminist and a battery?

Batteries have a positive side! inspired by: http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2zlrot/howmanyfeministsdoesittaketochangea/

String Jokes More String Jokes

Why do midgets refuse to wear tampons?

Because they keep stepping on the string.

What do you call a relationship that never works out between guitarists?

No strings attached

Bo Burnham Jokes More Bo Burnham Jokes

Why is the man only left with 30?

Credit to Bo Burnham.

What do a Marionette User and Tampon Thief have in common?

They both pull strings for work. (Inspired by Bo Burnham, this popped into my head the other day)