What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between Digg and Reddit?

People can Voat.

What's the difference between my girlfriend and a cow?

Cows are real.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why are a lot of Italians named Tony?

Because as they got on the boat to leave Italy, they were stamped on the head, "TO NY".

What did on western cheese say to the other?

You gouda bounty on your head. You cheddar be here when I get back.

Headline Jokes More Headline Jokes

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What do you say when somebody cuts in front of you in line for Vietnamese noodles?

Hey, pho queue, dude

What equine likes to cut in line?

A sawhorse!

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

Cocaine Addict Jokes More Cocaine Addict Jokes

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....