What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

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Talk Jokes More Talk Jokes

What's up with all these idiots on TV trying to talk to ghosts?

I don't even wanna talk to the living.

How do you get a parrot to talk properly ?

Send him to polytechnic !

Addict Jokes More Addict Jokes

What's the most popular religion for addicts?

the Crystal Methodists

What do you call a drug-addicted vampire?

Crackula

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

What's Wayne Static's relationship with drugs?

I SEE IT!** ooooohh **I NEED IT!**(https://www.youtube.com/watch v=Ps0MfBG5-Uo#t=1m24s)

What is a drug?

A drug is a substance which when injected into a guinea pig produces a scientific paper.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Which day of the week do ghosts like best?

Moandays.

How many seconds are there in a day in Africa?

Seconds? They barely get firsts!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did Jesus die ?

He forgot his safe word.

What is with 2016?

It's like everyone and their mothers are dying. sorry not sorry

Coke Jokes More Coke Jokes

Why was the CEO of Pepsi fired?

They caught him with an ounce of coke in his system.

What is brown and sticky?

Michael J Fox opening a can of coke

Stay Jokes More Stay Jokes

How do you know when you're staying in a hillbilly hotel?

When you call the front desk and say, "I gotta leak in my sink," and the clerk replies, "okay, Go ahead."

Why can't astronauts stay in a long term relationship?

They need space.

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

Why does Piglet smell so bad?

Because he always plays with Pooh.

When do you kick a midget in the nuts?

When he stands next to your girlfriend and says her hair smells nice.

Choice Jokes More Choice Jokes

What's an MLG's smartphone of choice?

An HTC One M8.

What is Bruce Lee's beverage of choice?

WATAAAAAR

Blanket Jokes More Blanket Jokes

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.

What do you call an undercover cop?

A pig in a blanket.

Ps Jokes More Ps Jokes

What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What do you call a none in a wheelchair?

Virgin Mobile I'm not sorry (PS, if this is a repost, I'm sorry that I didn't see the first time it got posted 2 years ago. Please don't accuse me of reposting)

Cocaine Addict Jokes More Cocaine Addict Jokes

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

What type of stories do cocaine addicts write?

Snort stories

Ya Jokes More Ya Jokes

Why ya going to the airport?

Why ya going to the airport? Flying Somewhere?" : "How'd you guess?" : "Well, I saw your luggage, then when I saw the airplane ticket I put two and two together. So where you headed?" : "Aspen." : "Mmm, California.. Beautiful."

What's the Pirates favorite letter?

Ya think it be the Arrrr, but it's really the C.