Blanket Jokes

What does a blanket say to the other after a game of chess?

Well plaid.

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What did the cocaine addict say to his drug of choice?

I'm kinda busy, I won't be able to stay any longer, smell ya later" PS: the addict died that day from severe delusions that his coke was talking blanket, lot of coke....

What did the pastor say when his blanket rose up from his bed?

Holy Sheet!"

What's the worst gift to give to an anti-vaxxer?

Blankets.

What did the blanket say to the bed?

Don't worry, I've got you covered.

What did the blanket say when he fell off the bed?

Aw sheet! One of my favorite, cheesiest jokes of all time. Thought it would be a good first post to Reddit!

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?

Oh sheeeeeettttt!

How do you make antifreeze?

Take away her blanket!

What does a chef call an undercover cop?

Pig in a blanket.

What do you call an undercover cop?

A pig in a blanket.

How did the dog make anti-freeze?

He stole her blanket.

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What do you call a special needs sheep that got turned into a blanket?

A down comforter.

What did the blanket say as it fell of the bed?

Sheet

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Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why do scuba-divers go in backwards?

Because if they went forward they'd fall in the boat.

How many cops does it take to push a black man down the stairs?

None, he fell.

Toaster Jokes More Toaster Jokes

How can you tell if a California State coed is a good cook?

She can get the pop tart out of the toaster in one piece.

What do my toaster and I have in common?

We both like to be in the same bathtub at the same time.

Underlay Jokes More Underlay Jokes

What does a Mexican carpet fitter say to motivate his colleagues?

Underlay! Underlay!

What did the Mexican put under his carpet?

Underlay! Underlay!

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What is the difference between walking a dog in America and China?

The spelling.

What did the dog take when he was run down?

The license number of the car that hit him.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

How do you organise games in Pompeii?

Make aedile.

Why is Pokemon quite realistic?

Because in the games, Bug-types are effective against Dark-types. Just like malaria in Africa.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know when a grenade is thrown by a blonde?

When you can pull the pin and throw it back

Which I replied, "Wanna know whats also the size of Australia?

Australia.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

Why did the terrorist's post make it to the front page of reddit?

Because it blew up.

Cover Jokes More Cover Jokes

Why are your eyes covered in ketchup?

I'm often asked by people: "Why are your eyes covered in ketchup " So I tell them it's because Heinz sight is 20/20.

What's green and lays in a ditch while covered in cookie crumbs?

The Girl Scout that got hit by a car.