Headline Jokes

What did the headlines read after the midget fortune-teller escaped from jail?

Small medium at large.

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What were the headlines like when the shovel was invented?

There's been a ground breaking discovery...

What's the difference between a newspaper and a cocaine addict?

One has headlines, and the other gives head for lines.

Why did North Korea tell South Korea not to crow about the recent agreement?

Because they'd rather see them raven. Obligatory apology: saw a headline and couldn't resist.

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Break Jokes More Break Jokes

What do you call it when your water breaks and you can't get ahold of the midwife?

A midwife crisis.

What do they do in Alabama when their car breaks down?

Build a house next to it.

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

What do you call the line at a Vietnamese restaurant?

Pho queue!

What do you call a line of men waiting to get a hair cut?

A barbecue

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

How did Helen Keller break her arms?

She tried to read a road sign going 45mph

What do good dragons read when they are pregnant?

How to Train Your Dragon. Good parenting, that is.

Crow Jokes More Crow Jokes

What does a crow with a cold sound like?

Caw-ph, Caw-ph, caw-ph.

What do you call three crows?

A crowd.

Shovel Jokes More Shovel Jokes

What should i do now?

to which the boss replies "We're out of shovels. Go lean on something else !"

What do you get when you cross a chili pepper, a shovel, and a dachshund?

A hot diggity dog.

Small Medium Jokes More Small Medium Jokes

What do you call a psychic midget that just robbed a bank?

Small medium at large

What do you call a midget psychic running from the cops?

A small medium at large!

Invent Jokes More Invent Jokes

How do you know that toothpaste was invented in Arkansas?

Because if it were invented anywhere else, it'd be called teethpaste.

What if we gave people enough for three fries?

guy who invented ketchup packets

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

What newspaper do cows read?

The Daily Moos.

How did the newspaper go about reviewing the opera production?

They followed Standard Opera-rating Procedure