How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.

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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

How does the redneck help his wife with the dishes?

He gets her Dawn.

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

Why wouldn't the mouse tell the police where he hid the cheese?

Because he's not a rat.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

Why a giraffe got arrested while driving?

Coz he was high :D

What's the difference between a drunk driver, and a stoned driver?

The drunk driver will drive right through a stop sign. The stoned driver will stop and wait for it to turn green.

Care Jokes More Care Jokes

What's the difference between a small child and a gorilla?

People actually care if a gorilla dies.

How can you tell ignorance from indifference?

I don't know and I don't care.

Meet Jokes More Meet Jokes

When we first met?

No, before that.

What do you get when The Dark Knight meets Edgar Allan Poe?

x-post from r/funny) Poetic Justice(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblrme6ovqdnAp1rzkyaxo1500.png)

Age Jokes More Age Jokes

What's the best way to get a youthful figure?

ANSWER: Ask a woman her age.

What gets better with age?

Necrophilia

Accident Jokes More Accident Jokes

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

What is it called when a ninja flees the scene of an accident?

Hidden Run.

Newspaper Jokes More Newspaper Jokes

Which newspaper is most popular around cows?

The Moo York Times

Why was Joe disappointed when he read the newspaper in Washington?

There were no jokes in the Post.

Print Jokes More Print Jokes

Why do they print nutritional information on Snickers bars?

If you don't know candy is bad for you, what are the chances you can read

How to make your wife take care while driving?

Tell her that if she meets with a serious accident, the newspaper will have to print her age.