What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why should you never mention the number 288?

Because it's two gross! (A gross is a measurement unit for "144". So 2 * 144 = 288. Or "two gross".)

Why did the pirate update his Macbook?

His matey told him he needed an iPatch

Stand Jokes More Stand Jokes

What does A&W stand for?

Amburgers & Woot Beer! Edit: Thanks to my dad for this one.

What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What's Irish and sits on a porch?

Pati 'O' Furniture

What do you call a man with no arms or legs... ... sitting at your door?

Matt. ...floating in your pool Bob. ...hanging on your wall Art. ... water skiing Skipper.

Somebody Jokes More Somebody Jokes

How do you know if somebody graduated from Harvard?

They'll tell you.

What do you call somebody who is content being average sized?

A happy medium.

Easy Way Jokes More Easy Way Jokes

What's the easiest way to twist someone's arm?

Thalidomide

What is the easiest way for a stressed astronaut to unwind and decompress?

By opening the door.

Heshe Jokes More Heshe Jokes

Why is there no scope for dealers/middle men in the field of extractive metallurgy?

Because he/she who smelt it, dealt it.

What's the easiest way to tell if somebody's lying?

He/she's not sitting or standing!