What's the best part of an asynchronous dog?

It's non barking! Hopefully some software people get this one

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What's the best name for a cigarette company?

TOBA Co

Why wasn't Boy George any good at English?

because he always put 5 commas before chameleon.

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Why do chinesse make such terrible Estate agents?

Because non of the customers are ever comfortable with the idea of buying a house with a Hawk in the closet.

How many vegans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One. Vegans have the same capability of changing a lightbulb as non-vegans.