Why was the blond late on her first day of work?

Because she stopped taking the pill about a month earlier.

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Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What does Spock sing in the shower?

What does Spock sing in the shower? I'll stop the world and meld with you!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

How are the band "The Scorpions" and rural shepherds alike?

They just wanna be loved by ewe. Made up this joke/pun at work the other day (I'm sure I'm not the first), decided to subject you all to it. All apologies to shepherds who are not physical with your sheep.

What do you call the day before a trip to an otolaryngologist?

New Ears Eve

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How does a mathematician get to work?

He derives!

What's the funniest joke you've heard that can be told to a 5th grader?

I always loved this one: (works better said out loud of course) What do you call a fish with no eyes ... A FSHHH

Blond Jokes More Blond Jokes

Why didn't the blond want to use her phone while using the bathroom?

She was afraid someone would steal her IP address.

How does a blond, get revenge on her blond boyfriend?

She paints a target icon around the outlet.

Pill Jokes More Pill Jokes

Why did the blonde quit using the pill?

Because it kept falling out.

Why are pills white instead of black?

Because you want them to work don't you