Bricks can get laid.
The gerbils are a bunch of cunning runts.
One turned into a terrifying monster, the other is an avenger.
Answer(/s "Someone who lays awake all night wondering if there really is a dog")
They both get laid by Mexicans...
Dead kittens. Can't get a pitchfork into the bricks.
Eventually, they're both getting laid by a Mexican.