What time is it in India?

7-Eleven on the dot.

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Who's there ! Bones ! Bones who ?

Bones upon a time... !

What is the best stand-up routine of our time?

I nominate Chris Rock's Never Scared.

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How do you describe the bears?

Fast and Furious 7

Why isn't there a Windows 9?

Hey Microsoft, why is there no Windows 9? You've given us 7 and 8, and now you're skipping straight to 10?" "Well, to be completely honest, 7 8 9."

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What's India's most popular dating service?

Connect the Dots.

What's the best dating service in India?

Connect the dots. (I'll see my self out.)

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What do you call an alligator from India whose in charge of telling everyone what to do?

A Deli-gator...I'll be here all week!

How many Americans does it take to screw a lightbulb?

None. Their President outsources the job to India.