What would santa be if he was a farmer?

A jolly rancher.

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What do you call Santa's wife?

Mrs Claus. I'll see myself out.

What goes "oh oh oh"?

Santa walking backwards.

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What did the farmer say when he heard the town gossiping about his cornfield fire?

My ears are burning!"

Why did the farmer call his horse Baseball?

Because it's covered with horsehide!