Whats the difference between a lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on in my mouth

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Whats worse than having a lobster on yer piano?

Having crabs on yer organ!

What's black?

Whats black and screams? Stevie Wonder answering the iron.

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How many applicants does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one but 200 applied for the job.

What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for?

Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)