Where do you find an old Onion article?

In thier archives.

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What do boys and algebra have in common?

They are both trying to find their X and they don't know Y.

What's the hardest thing about having a colostomy bag?

Finding shoes to go with it.

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Where do onions fight?

In the onion ring!

What's the difference between an onion and a woman?

I cry when I cut open an onion