Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

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What do you find with 4 Catholics?

A fifth.

What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

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What do you want to work on today?

Well we did neck day yesterday, and the day before. "So...neck day again" You bet

Why did you call off yesterday?

Me: You said I should do what's best for the company. Boss.... Me: I'll take that promotion now.

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How did the grandpa get rid of his sweet tooth?

He took out his dentures!

How are you feeling Grandpa?

Grandpa: Oh you know with my hands mostly.