Why are you calling me Grandpa?

Because I couldn't find it yesterday."

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What did the optimist say to his doctor when he found out he had lung cancer?

Well, I'll deal with this asbestos I can!"

How do you keep an idiot busy for hours?

Click here to find out the answer.(http://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/2b57xv/howdoyoukeepanidiotbusyforhours/)

Yesterday Jokes More Yesterday Jokes

What does Miley Cyrus have for Christmas Dinner?

Twerky! I thought of that yesterday, apologies if you've heard it a thousand times already.

What would you call it if pigs were flying yesterday?

Swine flu

Grandpa Jokes More Grandpa Jokes

Why are you rushin'?

Too which I replied "Because my grandpa is from Moscow." Duh..

What was on Grandpa's mind when he had that aneurysm?

Probably a tumor."