Why did the employee get fired from the calendar manufacturing company?

He took a day off

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Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the difference between a saxophone and an onion?

You don't cry when you cut up a saxophone. Happy Saxophone Day Why this musical abomination deserves its own day is beyond me. Edit: beside to beyond

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

A: An Apple turnover.

Why was the pirate fired from the babyGap?

For stealing the booty

Employee Jokes More Employee Jokes

Why did Ellen Pao fire an employee with cancer?

Fixed* deleted

What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees?

If at first you don't succeed - you're fired!

Manufacture Jokes More Manufacture Jokes

Why wouldn't Pope Pius bless any helicopters when they were first manufactured?

Because whenever one started up, the big blades would go "wop...wop... wop" and the little blades would go "guineaguineaguinea".

What is the last step in manufacturing Tickle-Me-Elmo's before packaging and shipping to stores?

Give it two test-tickles.