What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Why did Jimmy take a ruler to bed?

To see how long he slept for.

Why keyboards... Why keyboards don't sleep?

Because they have two shifts!

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What runs all day but never gets tired?

Water.

What does Clint Eastwood say to God every morning?

Go Ahead Make My Day"

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby?

The redditor never gets gold

Why did the redditor stand on a piece of fruit to check his weight?

BECAUSE HE WAS USING A BANANA FOR SCALE

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

What do you call a theft by a stumbling person?

A lumberjack.

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

Who was that girl I saw you with last night?

Second Cannibal: That was no girl that was my supper.

What lights up a football pitch at night?

A football match.......

Big Similarity Jokes More Big Similarity Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

Whack Jokes More Whack Jokes

What's the difference between a golfer and a skydiver?

A golfer goes "Whack, crap!", and a skydiver goes " Crap, whack!".

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::