What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

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Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?

A knight light

What is the best advice to give a worm?

Sleep late.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

Why are so many people obese these days?

Because burgers are$.99 and salads are $4.99

What the NSA say to NASA?

You're a day late and a dolla short!

Redditor Jokes More Redditor Jokes

What is it called when a Redditor writes about his life?

A meme-oir

What is the difference between an egg and a redditor?

Eggs get laid at least once.

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

Night Jokes More Night Jokes

How Dave Grohl spent his night in his hotel room after the concert in Gothenburg, Sweden?

He watched movie Cast Away (starring Tom Hanks) and ate some potato chips.

What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic?

A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog.

Big Similarity Jokes More Big Similarity Jokes

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What's the biggest similarity between a bottle of Draino and a Danish stripper?

They both slowly remove clogs.

Whack Jokes More Whack Jokes

What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad sky diver?

The bad golfer goes ::Whack:: "Damn it!" The bad sky diver goes "Damn it!" ::Whack::

What's the difference between a useless golfer and a useless skydiver?

The home golfer goes WHACK! "Oh no!" Whereas with the skydiver it's vice versa