Lumberjack Jokes

What's awkward for a man but a normal part of the job for a lumberjack?

Morning wood.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the biggest similarity between the average Redditor and a lumberjack?

They both sleep all night and whack all day!

What mathematical operation is used to calculate the rate at which lumberjacks cut wood?

Logger-rhythms.

What happens when a lumberjack doesn't know which tree to cut next?

He gets stumped.

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

Why was the lumberjack executed?

He committed treeson.

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

What's a Lumberjack's favorite drink?

A lager

What do you call a theft by a stumbling person?

A lumberjack.

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

What do you call a dating service for lumberjacks?

Timbr

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What was the name of the lumberjack in Al-Quaida?

Osama-Been-Loggin'

Why did you cut me down, lumberjack?

Lumberjack: Oh, you really don't know why? Tree: Sorry, I'm stumped.

What time do Lumberjacks take their tea-break?

TREE O'clock!

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How did the lumberjack keep his business from falling behind when all the trees ran out?

By moving faux wood. Rimshot

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

Why couldn't the tree solve the Lumberjack's riddle?

He was stumped.

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

What does a lumberjack and a trio of Irishmen have in common?

They're both tree fellers.

When the lumberjacks sawed down the tree where did the Gorilla hiding in the uppermost branches land?

Nearby - the Ape-lle doesn't fall far from the tree!

Why is lumberjack the only job with some random guy's name attached?

Why aren't plumbers called, like, toiletdougs Or crapperjoels

You might also enjoy:

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

How do you drown a hipster?

In the mainstream

What's the difference between a hipster and a lumberjack?

The lumberjack has a job.

Day Jokes More Day Jokes

What's the most problematic time of day?

4:04

How was your day ?

And he goes: " rrrrRough "

Morning Wood Jokes More Morning Wood Jokes

When does a Frenchman get his morning wood?

A bonne heure.

What's worse than morning wood?

Mourning wood

Tree Jokes More Tree Jokes

Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree ?

A: Because it was dead.

What did the lumberjack see?

He saw a tree.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What hand do you wipe with?

Answer: left or right Response: why not use toilet paper

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when you mix a snowman and a vampire?

Frostbite

What happened when the shoe factory burned down?

500 soles were lost.

Listen Jokes More Listen Jokes

Why is it so hard to help deaf people?

Because they never listen.

Why do ducks nod their head when they walk?

They're listening to duckstep!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get when you cross a pig with an elephant?

A very large animal that knows a lot of jokes.

Who's gonna be the next queen of R&ampB?

I don't know yet but she's gonna be Beyondce!