Forest Jokes

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

A natural log.

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What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

How do really crazy people get through the forest?

Via the psycho path.

What is the wettest animal in the forest?

The raindeer.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

How do crazy people go thru the forest?

They take the Psycho path.

What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest?

uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU

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Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

How does an insane man get through the forest?

By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok.

How far can you walk into the forest?

Halfway, when you walk further then you will walk out of the forest! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Which film star is always jumping around the forest?

John Treevaulter.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What is the poorest tree in the forest?

The burr-oak tree.

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What do you call an agreement between forests?

A treety

Which way do insane people take when they go through the forest?

A: The psycho path.

How does a crazy person walk through the forest?

He takes the psychopath.

How do crazy people make it through a forest?

They take the psycho-path.

What did the doe say as she came out of the forest?

I'll never do that for 5 bucks again.

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Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

Why did the director yell at Kick at the set of Punchkicker 5?

Because he said Punch's line.

What do you yell at a Muslim striptease?

Show me your nose!"

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What is the best way to get to Paradise?

A. Turn right and go straight.

What do you say when an episode of explosive diarrhoea turns into a round of smooth poop?

What a wondrous *turd* of events.

Bear Jokes More Bear Jokes

How do Russians drive to Alaska?

By bearing straight

Why do bears hate shoes so much?

They like to run around in their bear feet.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do Italians wear gold chains?

So they know where to stop shaving.

Why does Helen Keller wear tight jeans?

So people can read her lips.

Campfire Jokes More Campfire Jokes

What kinds of stories do dolphins tell around the campfire?

They're just ghost stories for all in tents and porpoises.

What does a cow like to do by a campfire?

Roast Moosmallows!

Wind Jokes More Wind Jokes

Why did the dog run in circles?

He was a watchdog and needed winding.

What wind is best for footballs?

Drew Brees

One Jokes More One Jokes

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer?

The ones with Jam in

Walk Jokes More Walk Jokes

What do you call a group of rabbits walking backward?

A receding hareline.

Why does the Avon lady walk funny?

Because her lips stick