Forest Jokes

What does a mathematicion find in a forest?

A natural log.

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What do you need to poop in the forest?

Toiletries

Why does Pinnochio always get an erection when he's in a forest?

Because he has a woodpecker!

How do really crazy people get through the forest?

Via the psycho path.

What is the wettest animal in the forest?

The raindeer.

What's the difference between Gordon Ramsey and a run in the forest?

Ones a pant in the country the others a...

What did the lumberjack say to the trees?

Run, Forest, run!

Where would you find more Leifs than in a forest?

Valhalla.

Why did the mother bear ask the baby bear to wear shoes before he ran through the forest?

Because he was barefooted!!!

How do crazy people go thru the forest?

They take the Psycho path.

What do wolves say when you yell barba streisand in the forest?

uuuuuUuuuUUUUuuuuuuuUuUUUuuuuuuuuuU

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Why does the forest stink during a storm?

Because the trees break wind.

How does an insane man get through the forest?

By taking the psychopath. hhhhehehhehe good one right? yeh? no..? ok.

How far can you walk into the forest?

Halfway, when you walk further then you will walk out of the forest! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

How do spies send secret messages in a forest?

A: By moss code.

Which film star is always jumping around the forest?

John Treevaulter.

How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?

They Take The Psycho Path

Why was the ladybird kicked out of the forest?

Because she was a litter bug.

What do you call a fallen tree in a forest?

Natural log. Sorry about the math joke.

When two bears asked a pastor to marry them in the forest, what did he say?

Hold on, let me get my bear rings."

What is the poorest tree in the forest?

The burr-oak tree.

Why did Hugh Jackman single handedly stop a Franciscan botanist from accidentally dropping a match in the forest?

Because only Hugh can prevent florist friars.

What do you call a man of high authority, stoned out of his mind strolling along in the forest?

Hiking

What do you call an agreement between forests?

A treety

Which way do insane people take when they go through the forest?

A: The psycho path.

How does a crazy person walk through the forest?

He takes the psychopath.

How do crazy people make it through a forest?

They take the psycho-path.

What did the doe say as she came out of the forest?

I'll never do that for 5 bucks again.

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What's the difference between seal hunters and teenagers?

There's none, both like clubbing.

What is the difference between confident and confidential?

Dad says: "You are my son, I'm confident about that. Your friend over there, is also my son, THAT is confidential.

Ash Jokes More Ash Jokes

What does Sean Connery's nemesis and the crater of a volcano have in common?

They're both ash-holes.

What happened to the man with two wooden legs whose house burnt down?

He fell on his ash.

Erection Jokes More Erection Jokes

What do you call a turtle with an erection?

A slow poke!

What's the hardest thing about finding a dead baby on the beach?

Hiding the erection.

Poop Jokes More Poop Jokes

When you say you don't feel good "Are you pregnant?

people without kids "Do you have to poop " -people with kids

What if I have to poop?

D: Then you should go now. *awkward pause* "Thanks I feel better."

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

What happened when Apple added the new touchbar?

They're taking away functions, and there's no escape.

How did the hairdresser escape?

John Frieda.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why do bald men cut holes in there pockets?

To run their hands through their hair

What do you call a nun on the run?

A ROMAN CATHOLIC!

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

What kind of pants does Mario wear?

Denim Denim. Denim

Why do golfers wear two pairs of pants?

In case they get a hole in one!

Country Jokes More Country Jokes

Why are we seeing the creepy clowns all over the country?

Being in many states and seen on all types of media is how they run for president.

What country do all cats wish to get their food from?

Viet NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM