How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

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Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What's the difference between a blue 7 and a red 4?

3, duh. (My ex's 9 year old little sister told me this joke, and followed is up with: "and YOU'RE the math guy!" >< Burned.)

How many Germans does it take screw in a lightbulb?

He said Nein My dads jokes are the wurst I tell you.

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What letters are not in the alphabet?

The ones in the mail of course!

Whats the difference between a Ritz cracker and a lesbian?

Ones a snack cracker and ones a crack snacker!

Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

How do you blow a movie quote?

You just put your lips together and whistle

How many lips does a flower have?

Tulips

Playground Jokes More Playground Jokes

Why are Wayne and Garth banned from playgrounds?

They hog the Schwing set.

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

Stretch Mark Jokes More Stretch Mark Jokes

How can you tell Sofia Vergara's children on the playground?

They're the ones with stretch marks on their lips.

How do you pick Dolly Parton's Kids out of a crowd?

They're the ones with stretch marks around their lips.