Don't worry, the dinner's on me.
Nothing. She's dead.
Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...
You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*
a tectonic plate!
A fork
Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.
Don't worry, they'll tell you.
Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!