What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

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Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What does Batman's mum shout when it's time for dinner?

Nothing. She's dead.

Where're you going?

Me: To dinner with my friends! Mom: Your friends Me: I'm going to use McDonalds' free Wifi to get on twitter...

Plate Jokes More Plate Jokes

What's the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*

What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast?

a tectonic plate!

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How do you know whether somebody is a vegan?

Don't worry, they'll tell you.

How can you spot a vegan in a crowded lunch hall?

Don't worry, they'll tell you and every other person there!