Fork Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

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What did Obi-wan say to Luke at the Chinese restaurant?

Use the fork, Luke.

How do cannibals pick up women?

With a fork

Why did the blind man use chopsticks?

Because he couldn't see the point in forks.

Who Got in an Accident?

There was a fork in the road.

What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

How do you confuse a blonde?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at them.

What's red and silver and bumps in to walls?

A baby with forks in it's eyes.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)

Where do cars get the most flat tyres?

Where there is a fork in the road. This and other tyre jokes here:

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Why did the fork go to the party?

It wanted to have a good tine.

What did Obi-Wan say to Luke at the breakfast table?

A: "Use the fork, Luke."

What do you get when you cross pasta with a snake?

Spaghetti that winds itself around your fork.

What did Obe Wan say to Skywalker when he was teaching him table manners?

Use the forks Luke.

Where do cars get the most flat tires?

Where there is a fork in the road.

How do you conufuse a blond?

Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

What does the devil say to hell rejects?

Why don't you fork off

What's your favorite movie?

DATE: Girl Interupt- ME: *drops fork* What is it DATE: Girl Interu- ME: *burps* Sorry. Go on. DATE: Fargo

What four letter word starts with F ends in K and if you can't get it you have to use your hands or fingers...?

A fork

Why can't you trust snakes ?

They speak with forked tongues !

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Luke Jokes More Luke Jokes

What did Luke get for pulling Darth Vader's face mask off?

A 15 yard penalty.

What is the inner temperature of a Tauntaun?

Luke warm.

Weigh Jokes More Weigh Jokes

How many ants does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A light bulb weighs about 50g and a single ant can lift about .2g, so it takes somewhere around 250 ants working together.

What weighs 15,000 pounds and combs her red hair with a fork?

Princess Arielephant

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What did the teddy bear say after dinner?

I'm stuffed."

Worry Jokes More Worry Jokes

How do you spot a vegan at a party?

Don't worry, they'll let you know.

Why are all computer scientists such pessimists?

They always worry about the worst case!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

How do soldiers tell if a woman is a genuine Red-Head?

If it's red on top, fire in the hole.

Party Jokes More Party Jokes

What did the older terrorist say to the younger terrorist before he headed out for a party?

Go on, have a blast.

What does a German call a party without Sausage and Cheese?

A Wurst-Kse Scenario

Raise Jokes More Raise Jokes

Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children?

With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it.

What's the difference between a goat and a kid?

My neighbour isn't unknowingly raising two of my goats.

Naughty Child Jokes More Naughty Child Jokes

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)

What drink does Santa give to naughty children?

Coala