What's red, white, and full of holes?

Helen Keller's face after she tries to use a fork.

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What does a mother use to keep her childrens' toenails soft and smooth?

A pedi-file

What did socialists use before candles?

Electricity

Try Jokes More Try Jokes

How to you tell the difference between an elephant and a mouse ?

Try picking them up !

Why don't old men like old women?

Ever tried to peel apart a grilled cheese sandwich

Hole Jokes More Hole Jokes

How do you stop your dog digging holes in your garden?

By hiding the shovel in the shed/garage

Why did the golfer wear 2 shirts when he went golfing?

In case he got a hole-in-one!

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

Where do cars get the most flat tyres?

Where there is a fork in the road. This and other tyre jokes here:

Who Got in an Accident?

There was a fork in the road.

Helen Keller Jokes More Helen Keller Jokes

Why does Helen Keller only masterbate with one hand?

She needs the other to moan.

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?

You would too if your name was WARRGELBLAFFENGAR!!!!!