Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What bounces and makes kids cry?

The cheque I just sent to Save the Children.

What do you say to your sister when she's crying?

Are you having a crisis?

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What's the difference between Saint Patrick's Day and Martin Luther King Day?

Everyone wants to be Irish on Saint Patrick's Day.

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his Vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What do you call a screaming timepiece?

An alarmed clock.

Why did raggedy Ann get kicked out of the toy box?

She kept sitting on Pinocchio's face screaming "LIE TO ME"!

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

When do Catholics allow the use of condoms?

When the choir boys have diarrhea.

Why don't catholics wear condoms?

Because little boys can't get pregnant.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Who might you be?

I AM THORRRR!!!" His horse perks up and says "Well, then wear a thaddle thilly."

What do lawyers wear to court?

Law suits!

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

What did the Cannibal get when he was late to dinner?

They gave him the cold shoulder.

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

How was your day, Daddy?

Me: Pretty busy, lots of meetings and deadlines. Her: DEAD LIONS! !

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

What's the cruelest curse to wish upon a single guy?

I wish his hands were made of stone."

What did the pebble say to the rock?

I wish I was a little boulder!

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!