Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!

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Cry Jokes More Cry Jokes

What's the difference between a lawyer and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion.

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why did the man sleep under the tractor?

Because he wanted to wake up oily.

What kind of fish would you want to go to bed with?

A cuddlefish! (corny I know)

Scream Jokes More Scream Jokes

What is 20 inches long and makes women scream at night?

A stillborn

Why did the chicken run around screaming?

Because he had to use the bathroom.

Condom Jokes More Condom Jokes

What would have to break to give you 18?

a condom

Why are condoms like cameras?

they both capture the moment.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why do you wear riding boots?

You don't ride horses. Me: Why do you wear sneakers You don't sneak.

Why do so many Italian men wear mustaches?

So they can look like their mothers.

Dinner Jokes More Dinner Jokes

Who's there ! Bernadette ! Bernadette who ?

Bernadette ate all my dinner and now I'm starving !

Who's there ! Bert ! Bert who ?

Bert the dinner !

Daddy Jokes More Daddy Jokes

What did the Mississippi girl say when she lost her virginity?

Get off me Daddy you're crushin' my cigarettes.

What's your Mom's name?

Kid: Mom's last name must be "Darling" because that's what Daddy calls her every time.... Teacher: That's so sweet. What's her first name then? Kid: I think it's "Sorry"....

Wish Jokes More Wish Jokes

Why didn't Napoleon get his wish?

Because he couldn't pull the wish Bonaparte.

Why is a bad government like a bikini?

Because people marvel at what's holding it up. And they wish it would fall.

Yay Jokes More Yay Jokes

What noise does a ceiling fan make?

GO CEILING!!! WHOOOHOOO!!!! YOUR NUMBER ONE!! YAY, CEILING RULES!!!

Who wants to go out to dinner and scream and cry and make daddy wish he wore more condoms?

Kids: WE DO! YAY!