Plate Jokes

What did the plate say to the fork?

Don't worry, the dinner's on me.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How many dogs does it take to count 14 plates?

14, maybe 15, but only if the plates ... 'run around a lot!'

What did one plate say to the other?

Lunch is on me."

How many plates do you need to draw a picture?

Tenplates

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Why did my family serve Eggs Benedict on a hubcap for Christmas breakfast?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollandaise.

What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast?

a tectonic plate!

What would you call a restaurant for anorexics?

The Empty Plate...

Why should you serve Eggs Benedict on shiny metal dishes?

Because there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise.

What do you call a resturaunt for bulemia victims?

The Empty Plate"

Whats the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can lick a plate dry

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

Where does Saddam Hussein keep his plates?

In Iraq.

What is Somailias national dish?

An empty plate

What did the worm that crawled out of a plate of spaghetti say?

Worst gangbang ever"

This joke may have profanity.

What's the difference between a woman and a plate?

You can't lick a woman dry. Rimshot*

Where does the catcher sit for dinner?

A: Behind the plate.

What is a dog's favourite food ?

Anything that is on your plate !

Why is there a draft?

Diner: Yes it's blown my steak off the plate three times.

Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates?

They don't want to be ostrich-sized!

What do you call someone who breaks a plate and then apologizes?

Dishrespectful...

What did one plate say to the other plate?

Dinner is on me!

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Netherland Jokes More Netherland Jokes

What's wrong with the plane that flies to Holland?

It Netherlands.

Why can't the dutch fly?

Because they netherland.

Fork Jokes More Fork Jokes

What did Obi-wan say to Luke at the Chinese restaurant?

Use the fork, Luke.

Why did the naughty child not get electrocuted when he stuck a fork in the socket?

Because he was grounded! (I'll see myself out)

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did the kid run across the freeway?

To show his friends he had guts. And boy, did he have guts.

What should a teacher take if he's run down?

The number of the car that hit him.

Count Jokes More Count Jokes

Why couldn't Miss Piggy count to 100?

Because when she got to 69, there was a frog in her throat.

What does it sounds like when a Japanese Homer Simpson forgets how to count to 11?

Nin, ten, " ....I'll leave now.

Drive Jokes More Drive Jokes

What do you call a koala that drives?

A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*

Why do feminists only drive cars with automatic transmissions?

It pains them to have standards.

Bump Jokes More Bump Jokes

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

Diaper Jokes More Diaper Jokes

What diapers should you put on a dead baby?

Pamperspired.

Why are diapers like $10 bills?

Because you have to change them.

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

How do you fire a Chinese cook?

Ask him to take wok.